It's Soup Season! Bulgur and Lentil Soup with Mustard Greens and Butternut Squash

There's nothing like a hot bowl of tasty soup to warm the cockles of your heart. Of course, Woody Allen said in Love and Death: Great. Nothing like hot cockles. But a good hearty bowl of lentil soup with some nutritious and delicious greens can't be beat. Except by an alfresco meal of charcuterie and cheese with savory biscotti crisps on a frosty morning in a state park. Or Chinese food on Christmas even if you can't manage to reserve a Chinese Turkey (Peking Duck) anywhere on short notice. Or basically anything with lamb. OK, forget about the "can't be beat" part already!

This is what hippies who write cookbooks look like. They
look happy together. Like they shag a lot to the smell of
incense and candles. It's such a freaky scene.

Sheryl and Mel London wrote a cookbook in the early 90s which could have been a cookbook for hippies in the 70s if hippies had cottoned onto the fact that you could make nutritious, stereotypical, even vegetarian hippie food taste good if you got a little creative (hello, Moosewood Restaurant?). But most of THOSE hippies didn't, so let's just go with Sheryl and Mel, shall we?

The Versatile Grain and The Elegant Bean has been a Go To cookbook in my collection for decades. I first made Bulgur and Lentil Soup with Mustard Greens when I was living with a boyfriend. The smell was fantastic. While we ate, I left the pot out on the stove so the soup would cool down enough to be packaged for the fridge and freezer. And managed to forget about it until the morning. I can still remember looking woefully at that beautiful pot of soup, and going through the Decision Hand Scales: Ptomaine poisoning or Deliciousness? AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

This recipe is freely adapted from the London's book, and has the addition of butternut squash. I also made some cranberry relish as a side because cranberries are in season and I guess this year I want to prolong the holidays!

Eat with good crusty bread. Dream of mountain cabins and roaring fires. Mangia!

Bulgur and Lentil Soup with Mustard Greens and Butternut Squash

Adapted from The Versatile Grain and The Elegant Bean, Sheryl and Mel London, 1992

1 1/2 cup green lentils (I had Toor Dal on hand, which is basically a form of yellow lentils)
1 cup bulgur wheat
14 cups water or beef stock (you could go with veggie stock as well. I use Better Than Bouillon beef)
3 cloves garlic, chopped (their recipe called for one, but I tripled it because....garlic!)
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
1 bunch Italian parsley, separated into the bottom two inches or so of stems finely chopped and the remaining leaves coarsely chopped
3 tbsp. sesame oil
2 medium onions, chopped
3 carrots, sliced into 1/4" to 1/2" pieces
2 cups cubed butternut squash
4 cups mustard greens, sliced into 1/2' chiffonade
2 tbsp. good balsamic vinegar
Salt and pepper to taste

Pick over the lentils and bulgur to remove any thing that's nasty or looks like a rock. Rock covers teeth.

Rinse and transfer to a large stockpot. Add the stock, garlic, parsley stems and cayenne. Bring to boil reduce to simmer and cover with lid slightly ajar. Cook for about an hour.

Meanwhile, saute the onions and carrots in the sesame oil until beginning to brown, about 10 minutes. Add the onions and carrots to stockpot, continue to simmer for about 15 to 20 minutes. Add the squash and greens and cook until squash is tender, about 20 minutes. Stir in vinegar and chopped parsley leaves. Serve hot.

Cranberry and Orange Relish with Raisins and Pine Nuts

2 small unpeeled oranges, cut into eighths and seeded

1 12-ounce package Ocean Spray® Fresh or Frozen Cranberries, rinsed and drained

3/4-1 cup sugar

1/3 cup golden raisins

¼ cup pine nuts

Large splash balsamic vinegar (I use balsamic fig for this recipe)

Directions

Place half the cranberries and half the orange slices in food processor container. Process until mixture is evenly chopped. Transfer to a bowl. Repeat with remaining cranberries and orange slices. Stir in sugar.

Transfer to bowl. Add the raisins and pine nuts and vinegar

Guest Chef: Colonel Mustard's Famous Go To Pork Loin Roast

Colonel Mustard is known for his pork loin roast. It's simple 

yet tasty. I have asked him to break it down for us. His Sunday supper is Roast Pork Loin with Loaded Baked Potatoes and Green Beans.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Start with naked pork loin. Pork Loin in its Birthday suit. Tender, porky nudity.

Then take it to the Daiye Spa (thanks, Zoolander) and give it a nice rubdown with Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Onto that glistening hunk of protein goes the simplest of seasonings: salt, pepper, garlic powder and paprika.

Triumphant!

Cover with foil and roast for an hour and 45 minutes. After 30 minutes, take it out and pour a half cup of red wine over the roast. The Colonel says he used boxed wine, but I am choosing to believe he was pulling my leg. I hope. I pray.  Put the foil back on and continue roasting. Crank up the broiler and finish for about 10 to 15 minutes for a nice brown crust.

Serve with baked potatoes with all the fixings: sour cream, chives, butter. And steamed green beans. Guinness Black Lager optional. Actually, not optional. Mangia!

Colonel, you owe me a recipe for Twice Baked Potatoes.

We Don't Need No Stinking Recipe - Here Is Your BLT for Brunch

Ahhhhh, the simple majesty of the humble BLT. Albertsons had Dudley's German Black Bread in
stock. They carry Dudley's breads but it's sometimes hard to find the GBB. It's just not as popular as say Deli Onion Rye or San Diego Sourdough. Or my breakfast go to for special times: Date Nut Raisin.

German Black Bread typically means toasted tomato sandwiches. I've loved tomato sandwiches ever since Grandma turned me on to them. That and onion sandwiches with butter. I loved the Harriet The Spy series from the 60s, and the only sandwich Harriet would eat was tomato sandwiches. Her mother despaired of ever getting her to eat something else at school for lunch, but nope, Harriet stood her ground. The difference is that I like to toast the bread.

But today, it will be BLT. Or in my case, BLTO. I like to add onion.

I had three peppercorn bacon in the freezer, left over from Colonel Mustard's last visit. Picked up some beauteous heirloom tomatoes at my favorite Tomato Donna's store (little Ava, her granddaughter, named for Gardner, just turned two. 12/12/12. They celebrated her birthday on 12/13/14. Cute!). I had lovely red leaf lettuce left over from the farm stand run on Wednesday. I was all set!

I also could not resist dropping a Julian boysenberry apple pie in the cart.

Ok, off to eat and drool over my new Mexico: The Cookbook addition to the cookbook library. If anyone needs me later, I'll be taking a long post-breakfast nap!

Asian Pork N Beans - Hoisin Pork with Stir Fried Garlic Beans, Leeks and Kimchi and Asian Miso Slaw

Growing up, in a very, very lower class family, with a need to keep down food costs as much as possible, we always had some food on the table, although today I'd be hard-pressed to define it as food as I now understand the definition. Gosh, that sounded unbelievably snobbish and insensitive to those who struggle to put something in the bellies of their children. But I can say, we were, at one time, without the benefit of those social services food parcels, almost there.

Dad made the best potato soup. It was so simple: water, some milk, onions and potatoes, a little butter. And so good.

A real treat on a modest budget was Pork N Beans night. Plain old Campbell's Pork N Beans, but Dad would put in Colonel Mustard (the condiment, not the man!), some molasses, some ketchup and probably garlic powder, at which addition Mom was probably running around screaming "Too much flavor, too much flavor!" My Nut of the love of good-tasting food didn't fall far from the Dad Tree, at a time when Mom was nowhere to be seen in the yard. He'd also dice hot dogs to throw into it and we girls thought that was the niftiest trick of all!

Don't worry. That's not we're on about tonight.

Hoisin sauce is so darned good. Sweet, a little savory, total umami bomb. That’s the same with miso, only not the sweet part. Pure umami bliss, as well as salty bliss (post-hypertension diagnosis, use with caution). I always have miso in the fridge, usually white miso.

Look at these beauties!

I stopped by a roadside veg stand I like on one of my numerous trips up and down the damned 215 these days. Beautiful yellow and purple beans, and some lovely radishes as well! Purple beans? Think green beans but in purple gay Tele-Tubby colors. The purple look so rich and lovely, but they do lose their unique hue during cooking and look rather like ordinary green beans. Still yummy though!

This is a really simple stir fry dish, where you stir fry the vegetable dish separate from the pork and add a side of a cool crunchy slaw with lots of sesame flavor. Serve with rice.

No real Asian movie mood this week's culinary trip, although with Unbroken hitting the screens in a week, I might be in the mood for Paradise Road, a movie about an international coterie of ex-pat women held in a Japanese prison camp, and the choices they make to survive, preserve their integrity and/or at times despair. And manage to keep their spirits up forming a transcendent A Capella choir, under the tutelage of the fabulous Glenn Close.

Mangia!

For the Hoisin Pork:

1 lb. boneless pork loin chops, sliced ¼” thick

Marinade:

4 tbsp. hoisin sauce

3 tbsp. soy sauce

1 tbsp. sriracha

1 ½ tbsp.. rice wine vinegar

2 tbsp. sesame oil

2 garlic cloves, minced

Combine marinade ingredients and toss with pork, set aside.

For the Slaw:

½ head Napa cabbage, chopped

1 bunch radishes, thinly sliced

1 bunch green onions, sliced

Good handful chopped cilantro

¼ cup mayo

1 tbsp. miso

1 tbsp. sesame oil

2 tbsp. sesame seeds

Put the veggies in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, combine the mayo, miso and sesame oil, stir well to combine. Add to the veggies and toss well. Sprinkle in the seeds and give it another good toss. Refrigerate until supper time.

For the Stir Fried Garlic Beans:

½ lb. yellow beans, snapped in half

½ lb. purple or green beans, snapped in half (you can top and tail the beans, or even just top them. I don’t bother unless the top has a piece of actual stem)

3 leeks, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced

3 cloves garlic, minced

1” piece of fresh ginger, minced

½ cup chopped kimchi (if your store doesn't have kimchi, use sauerkraut mixed with sriracha. I use 1 tbsp. sriracha for each cup of sauerkraut. Try to find Bubbies brand. It blows Clausson out of the water)

2 tbsp. peanut oil

1 tbsp. sesame oil

Heat wok or heavy skillet over high heat until nearly smoking. Add the oils and then the leeks. Stir fry a few minutes to soften and release aroma. Add the garlic and ginger and fry for a minute. Add the beans and keep tossing for a few minutes until beans are crisp-tender. Add kimchi at the end and toss just to heat through. Remove from wok. Salt and pepper to taste, or you could finish with a bit of Tamari or soy sauce.

Don’t bother to wipe the wok, good stuff there. Lay in another tablespoon of peanut oil, let it heat a moment and add the pork, lifting it from the marinade so it doesn’t go into the wok dripping wet. Stir fry for 4 or so minutes or until cooked. Do not dry out pork! It’s a myth that you have to eat dried out, well done pork. Leave it with just a hint of rosiness and you’ll be rewarded with juicy tenderness. Suey!

Serve pork and beans with the rice and the side of slaw.

Appetizer Recipe To End All Recipes: Dates, Bacon, Blue Cheese And Toasted Pecans

I'm on a cooking sabbatical because I have about 18 pounds of Chipotle Turkey Pozole and a couple of containers of Lamb Shanks Over Soft Leek Polenta filling up the freezer. As David at the office says, "Yay leftovers!"

But here's a yummy-sounding appetizer for the holidays. Will also post a Mushroom Barley Soup recipe from Yr Wonkette. 

Appetizer Recipe To End All Recipes: Dates, Bacon, Blue Cheese And Toasted Pecans

by Mojopo

Dec 10 12:19 pm 2014

You are going to need a non-defective air bag to even THINK about this recipe. I’m about to t-bone your taste buds with four ridiculous flavors. What do we have here? Only dates stuffed with Danish blue cheese, wrapped in bacon and decorated with toasted whole pecans. Are you on the phone with your insurance company yet and OMG, why not?

Ladies, gentlemen and others – I have dearly enjoyed being a part of your Recipe Hub. It all happened around this time last year when your Editrix sent me a message on Faceborg, asking if I would contribute a recipe to HappyNiceTimePeople.com. I was flattered and pee-my-pants excited. She kept me on.

Like you, I have a life away from Wonkette. My work has pulled me away from this thing we have built together, our very bona fide Recipe Hub. It has grown enormously, and I will miss you.

I worked for Happy’s Lisa Needham — a kind, hilarious, and brilliant writer who I respect to the ends of the earth. I also reported to Sara Benincasa, a comedian I have admired, and she is a joy to know. Additionally, I was blessed to report to Kaili Joy Gray, who has one of the most cheerful, positive voices in early morning e-mails that one could ever hope for. She’s so smart that it pains me. My job was to think about food while all of these brilliant women have encouraged us to think harder about the world.

I may never have said good morning to any of these people, if not for Rebecca Schoenkopf. She lifted me up and gave me something really incredible to do. I am forever grateful for her kindness, enthusiasm, and optimism. She invited me to share my love of cooking with a helluva lot of people because Rebecca is the maternal voice of encouragement  who makes you feel like – yes, I can get on this school bus and I will find a place to sit. It might be next to a weird kid, and weird is great! God bless all of her days. Thank you.

THAT SAID I cooked for our going away party, because of course I did! We are having my favorite appetizer. You need only a few things and it takes so little time. Vegetarians can omit bacon, and vegans are encouraged to be creative. I quit vegetarianism not so long ago because of bacon and pepperoni, and I wish I had a better idea for vegans. Good luck!

Use wooden toothpicks to secure the bacon. Soak them in water for about 30 minutes, to keep from burning.

Ingredients

1 packaged of pitted dates

1 package of raw smoked bacon

1 wedge of blue cheese

Toasted whole pecans (olive oil, butter, and kosher salt)

dates-and-bacon-prep

Heat the oven to 375º. Pinch open the pitted dates and ram some blue cheese in the crease. Close, and wrap with a half-strip of bacon. Secure ends of bacon with toothpicks and place on a non-stick cookie sheet. Cook for 10 minutes, then turn. Bake for an additional 5-7 minutes and then turn again. Bake for an additional 2-4 minutes, until done. Remove from oven, take out toothpicks and add a whole toasted pecan on top, or into the middle. Toasted pecans are like pecan times ten in the flavor department. You must. I rest my case.

Tip: If the bacon is not sufficiently toasty on the sides, hit it with a brûlée torch (or a BBQ starter). With the introduction of naked flame, the bacon will sizzle and take off after a few seconds. Remove the flame as soon as this happens. Repeat as needed.

Read more at http://wonkette.com/568445/appetizer-recipe-to-end-all-recipes-dates-bacon-blue-cheese-and-toasted-pecans#8qxlKHGE5qlUxlzq.99

Now The Vegans Have Infected This Mushroom Barley Soup Recipe!

Love, love, love barley!

Now The Vegans Have Infected This Mushroom Barley Soup Recipe!

by Fitzgerald Chesterfield

Dec 03 11:50 am 2014

Do you keep barley in your pantry? You should. For uses other than soup, it’s a great switcheroo for rice. You can find it at your grocer near the rice or dried beans or maybe near the oatmeal – who knows? It’s what they make beer and whiskey out of, too!

Here’s an easy soup to make with barley and mushrooms. You can make it vegan with a few minor adjustments, but I wouldn’t recommend it. The mushrooms and barley give the soup a great earthy flavor. That’s what people say when they mean it tastes like dirt (in a good way).

You can use any kind of stock you want, but beef is the best way to go. Today, we’ve got homemade stock made from some lamb bones that were lying around in the freezer.

Mushroom Barley Soup

2 tbsp. butter

1 onion, diced

1-2 stalks celery, diced

2-3 carrots, diced

4-25 (to taste) cloves of garlic, minced

A few sprigs of thyme

A bay leaf

8 oz. any old kind of mushrooms, sliced

2 shots of cognac

1/4 cup of pearled barley

1 quart of stock

Vinegar (whatever kind you like, we’re using a cheap white balsamic)

Salt and pepper, as you go, to taste

In your favorite soup-making pot, melt the butter over medium heat and throw in the onion, celery, and carrots. Let that cook for a few minutes. Mirepoix is the word for this stuff; be sure to say it extra nasally.

Stir in the garlic, thyme, and mushrooms. Let that all get acquainted.

Add one of the shots of cognac. Put the other in the promotional snifter which Courvoisier so kindly included with your latest purchase.

Once the cognac (in the soup pan) has cooked all away, add the barley and stir.

Add the bay leaf and stock; bring to a boil, and turn it down to a simmer.

Cook for about 20-30 minutes, until the barley is done to your liking.

Ladle it up, and sprinkle some vinegar in each bowl.

Enjoy!

Read more at http://wonkette.com/568079/now-the-vegans-have-infected-this-mushroom-barley-soup-recipe#0YLJBA8rm3gi4JiK.99

What Do You Do With A Big Ass Carcass - Make Chipotle Turkey Pozole

That is one ginormous can of hominy!

Love, love, love turkey carcasses, chicken backs and necks. Get enough of them, it's time for soup!

My dearest Petal's family puts on a very boring spread for T Day. I long ago gave up any hope of bringing along some side dishes that don't suck, like those darling parsnip chive pancakes from a recipe I saw a few years back, or a really fabulous sweet potato dish with fresh ginger, garlic, green onions and a miso-based dressing that I make occasionally. Do that one at Thanksgiving and you'll always look at candied sweet potatoes with marshmallows in abject horror.

I once made a wild mushroom bread pudding to bring to their festivities and the whole family looked at me like I was a Martian about to probe them.

But I scored big time this year by carting home the carcass and basically any pieces of meat that were less than whitey white breast pieces. Dark meat tastes good!! Petal can't handle things that look like the animals they once were. When she does her Christmas Eve tamale parties, we make the run to Costco and pick up some dozen or so rotisserie chickens and me and one of the boys have to de-meat them for her. Her middle son volunteers a lot because he loves the skin. So do I, so it's a bit of a challenge to stay focused on work when the two of us are trying to devour more skin than the other.He's in culinary school now and I can't wait to see where that takes him. 

Serve with tortillas, or in this case I went with cornbread, just simple cornbread with the addition of a bit of chile powder.

Sorry about the cabbage, Colonel.

Mangia!

Chipotle Turkey Pozole

Courtesy of Simply Recipes, with some adaptations by me

2 Tbsp olive oil

1 large onion, chopped (about 2 cups)

1/4 cup to 1/2 cup minced chipotles in adobo (to taste)

3 large garlic cloves, minced

1 28-ounce can crushed or diced tomatoes (San Marzano!)

Salt
Pepper

4 to 5 cups leftover cooked turkey meat, shredded

1 large (108 ounce, 6 lb 12 oz, 3 kg) can white hominy, rinsed and drained

4 quarts of turkey stock or chicken stock (I use Better Than Bouillon for stock if I am too lazy to make it fresh, but for today, I made one from leftover carcass of turkey, onion, garlic, carrot and celery, peppercorns and salt and augmented with a few chicken backs, bring to boil and simmer for about 2 hours. I had leftover parsnips and fennel from the roast chicken night, threw those in also. Let stock cool, remove solids and allow it to sit for a bit to allow the fat to rise and be skimmed off. Pick off any remaining meat from the bones to add to the pozole)

3 bay leaves

2 Tbsp dried oregano (Mexican if available)

1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

Toppings

1/2 head green cabbage, sliced thin

3 avocados, diced

1 bunch red radishes, sliced thin

8 ounces Cotija cheese, crumbled

1 large bunch cilantro, chopped (stems included)

1 red onion, chopped

4 limes, cut into wedges

Heat olive oil on medium high heat in a large (12 quart) stockpot. Add the chopped onion and cook until translucent, about 4 minutes. Add the garlic. Add the minced chipotles in adobo (start with 1/4 cup and add more later to desired heat). Cook for another 3 minutes.

Add the tomatoes and cooked turkey meat to the pot, stirring to combine. Add the rinsed and drained hominy. Add the stock. Taste and add salt (at least a tablespoon if you are using unsalted stock) to taste. Add the bay leaves, oregano, ground cloves, and cinnamon. Add more water if the soup is too thick with hominy for your preference. Bring to a simmer. Taste and add more salt, herbs, or chipotle to taste. You may need more salt than you expect, if you are using homemade, unsalted stock. Simmer for 45 minutes.

Set the table with toppings arranged in separate serving dishes. Spoon out the soup into bowls. Let people add the toppings they want to the soup.

Cornbread with Chile Powder

1 cup butter, melted

1/2 cup white sugar

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup yellow cornmeal

4 teaspoons baking powder

1 tbsp chile powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9x13 inch baking dish.

In a large bowl, beat together butter and sugar. Beat in eggs one at a time. 

In a separate bowl, stir together flour, cornmeal, baking powder, chile powder and salt. Add flour mixture to corn mixture; stir until smooth. Pour batter into prepared pan.

Bake in preheated oven for 1 hour, until a toothpick inserted into center of the pan comes out clean.