It's Soup Season! Bulgur and Lentil Soup with Mustard Greens and Butternut Squash

There's nothing like a hot bowl of tasty soup to warm the cockles of your heart. Of course, Woody Allen said in Love and Death: Great. Nothing like hot cockles. But a good hearty bowl of lentil soup with some nutritious and delicious greens can't be beat. Except by an alfresco meal of charcuterie and cheese with savory biscotti crisps on a frosty morning in a state park. Or Chinese food on Christmas even if you can't manage to reserve a Chinese Turkey (Peking Duck) anywhere on short notice. Or basically anything with lamb. OK, forget about the "can't be beat" part already!

This is what hippies who write cookbooks look like. They
look happy together. Like they shag a lot to the smell of
incense and candles. It's such a freaky scene.

Sheryl and Mel London wrote a cookbook in the early 90s which could have been a cookbook for hippies in the 70s if hippies had cottoned onto the fact that you could make nutritious, stereotypical, even vegetarian hippie food taste good if you got a little creative (hello, Moosewood Restaurant?). But most of THOSE hippies didn't, so let's just go with Sheryl and Mel, shall we?

The Versatile Grain and The Elegant Bean has been a Go To cookbook in my collection for decades. I first made Bulgur and Lentil Soup with Mustard Greens when I was living with a boyfriend. The smell was fantastic. While we ate, I left the pot out on the stove so the soup would cool down enough to be packaged for the fridge and freezer. And managed to forget about it until the morning. I can still remember looking woefully at that beautiful pot of soup, and going through the Decision Hand Scales: Ptomaine poisoning or Deliciousness? AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

This recipe is freely adapted from the London's book, and has the addition of butternut squash. I also made some cranberry relish as a side because cranberries are in season and I guess this year I want to prolong the holidays!

Eat with good crusty bread. Dream of mountain cabins and roaring fires. Mangia!

Bulgur and Lentil Soup with Mustard Greens and Butternut Squash

Adapted from The Versatile Grain and The Elegant Bean, Sheryl and Mel London, 1992

1 1/2 cup green lentils (I had Toor Dal on hand, which is basically a form of yellow lentils)
1 cup bulgur wheat
14 cups water or beef stock (you could go with veggie stock as well. I use Better Than Bouillon beef)
3 cloves garlic, chopped (their recipe called for one, but I tripled it because....garlic!)
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
1 bunch Italian parsley, separated into the bottom two inches or so of stems finely chopped and the remaining leaves coarsely chopped
3 tbsp. sesame oil
2 medium onions, chopped
3 carrots, sliced into 1/4" to 1/2" pieces
2 cups cubed butternut squash
4 cups mustard greens, sliced into 1/2' chiffonade
2 tbsp. good balsamic vinegar
Salt and pepper to taste

Pick over the lentils and bulgur to remove any thing that's nasty or looks like a rock. Rock covers teeth.

Rinse and transfer to a large stockpot. Add the stock, garlic, parsley stems and cayenne. Bring to boil reduce to simmer and cover with lid slightly ajar. Cook for about an hour.

Meanwhile, saute the onions and carrots in the sesame oil until beginning to brown, about 10 minutes. Add the onions and carrots to stockpot, continue to simmer for about 15 to 20 minutes. Add the squash and greens and cook until squash is tender, about 20 minutes. Stir in vinegar and chopped parsley leaves. Serve hot.

Cranberry and Orange Relish with Raisins and Pine Nuts

2 small unpeeled oranges, cut into eighths and seeded

1 12-ounce package Ocean Spray® Fresh or Frozen Cranberries, rinsed and drained

3/4-1 cup sugar

1/3 cup golden raisins

¼ cup pine nuts

Large splash balsamic vinegar (I use balsamic fig for this recipe)

Directions

Place half the cranberries and half the orange slices in food processor container. Process until mixture is evenly chopped. Transfer to a bowl. Repeat with remaining cranberries and orange slices. Stir in sugar.

Transfer to bowl. Add the raisins and pine nuts and vinegar

Guest Chef: Colonel Mustard's Famous Go To Pork Loin Roast

Colonel Mustard is known for his pork loin roast. It's simple 

yet tasty. I have asked him to break it down for us. His Sunday supper is Roast Pork Loin with Loaded Baked Potatoes and Green Beans.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Start with naked pork loin. Pork Loin in its Birthday suit. Tender, porky nudity.

Then take it to the Daiye Spa (thanks, Zoolander) and give it a nice rubdown with Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Onto that glistening hunk of protein goes the simplest of seasonings: salt, pepper, garlic powder and paprika.

Triumphant!

Cover with foil and roast for an hour and 45 minutes. After 30 minutes, take it out and pour a half cup of red wine over the roast. The Colonel says he used boxed wine, but I am choosing to believe he was pulling my leg. I hope. I pray.  Put the foil back on and continue roasting. Crank up the broiler and finish for about 10 to 15 minutes for a nice brown crust.

Serve with baked potatoes with all the fixings: sour cream, chives, butter. And steamed green beans. Guinness Black Lager optional. Actually, not optional. Mangia!

Colonel, you owe me a recipe for Twice Baked Potatoes.

We Don't Need No Stinking Recipe - Here Is Your BLT for Brunch

Ahhhhh, the simple majesty of the humble BLT. Albertsons had Dudley's German Black Bread in
stock. They carry Dudley's breads but it's sometimes hard to find the GBB. It's just not as popular as say Deli Onion Rye or San Diego Sourdough. Or my breakfast go to for special times: Date Nut Raisin.

German Black Bread typically means toasted tomato sandwiches. I've loved tomato sandwiches ever since Grandma turned me on to them. That and onion sandwiches with butter. I loved the Harriet The Spy series from the 60s, and the only sandwich Harriet would eat was tomato sandwiches. Her mother despaired of ever getting her to eat something else at school for lunch, but nope, Harriet stood her ground. The difference is that I like to toast the bread.

But today, it will be BLT. Or in my case, BLTO. I like to add onion.

I had three peppercorn bacon in the freezer, left over from Colonel Mustard's last visit. Picked up some beauteous heirloom tomatoes at my favorite Tomato Donna's store (little Ava, her granddaughter, named for Gardner, just turned two. 12/12/12. They celebrated her birthday on 12/13/14. Cute!). I had lovely red leaf lettuce left over from the farm stand run on Wednesday. I was all set!

I also could not resist dropping a Julian boysenberry apple pie in the cart.

Ok, off to eat and drool over my new Mexico: The Cookbook addition to the cookbook library. If anyone needs me later, I'll be taking a long post-breakfast nap!

Asian Pork N Beans - Hoisin Pork with Stir Fried Garlic Beans, Leeks and Kimchi and Asian Miso Slaw

Growing up, in a very, very lower class family, with a need to keep down food costs as much as possible, we always had some food on the table, although today I'd be hard-pressed to define it as food as I now understand the definition. Gosh, that sounded unbelievably snobbish and insensitive to those who struggle to put something in the bellies of their children. But I can say, we were, at one time, without the benefit of those social services food parcels, almost there.

Dad made the best potato soup. It was so simple: water, some milk, onions and potatoes, a little butter. And so good.

A real treat on a modest budget was Pork N Beans night. Plain old Campbell's Pork N Beans, but Dad would put in Colonel Mustard (the condiment, not the man!), some molasses, some ketchup and probably garlic powder, at which addition Mom was probably running around screaming "Too much flavor, too much flavor!" My Nut of the love of good-tasting food didn't fall far from the Dad Tree, at a time when Mom was nowhere to be seen in the yard. He'd also dice hot dogs to throw into it and we girls thought that was the niftiest trick of all!

Don't worry. That's not we're on about tonight.

Hoisin sauce is so darned good. Sweet, a little savory, total umami bomb. That’s the same with miso, only not the sweet part. Pure umami bliss, as well as salty bliss (post-hypertension diagnosis, use with caution). I always have miso in the fridge, usually white miso.

Look at these beauties!

I stopped by a roadside veg stand I like on one of my numerous trips up and down the damned 215 these days. Beautiful yellow and purple beans, and some lovely radishes as well! Purple beans? Think green beans but in purple gay Tele-Tubby colors. The purple look so rich and lovely, but they do lose their unique hue during cooking and look rather like ordinary green beans. Still yummy though!

This is a really simple stir fry dish, where you stir fry the vegetable dish separate from the pork and add a side of a cool crunchy slaw with lots of sesame flavor. Serve with rice.

No real Asian movie mood this week's culinary trip, although with Unbroken hitting the screens in a week, I might be in the mood for Paradise Road, a movie about an international coterie of ex-pat women held in a Japanese prison camp, and the choices they make to survive, preserve their integrity and/or at times despair. And manage to keep their spirits up forming a transcendent A Capella choir, under the tutelage of the fabulous Glenn Close.

Mangia!

For the Hoisin Pork:

1 lb. boneless pork loin chops, sliced ¼” thick

Marinade:

4 tbsp. hoisin sauce

3 tbsp. soy sauce

1 tbsp. sriracha

1 ½ tbsp.. rice wine vinegar

2 tbsp. sesame oil

2 garlic cloves, minced

Combine marinade ingredients and toss with pork, set aside.

For the Slaw:

½ head Napa cabbage, chopped

1 bunch radishes, thinly sliced

1 bunch green onions, sliced

Good handful chopped cilantro

¼ cup mayo

1 tbsp. miso

1 tbsp. sesame oil

2 tbsp. sesame seeds

Put the veggies in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, combine the mayo, miso and sesame oil, stir well to combine. Add to the veggies and toss well. Sprinkle in the seeds and give it another good toss. Refrigerate until supper time.

For the Stir Fried Garlic Beans:

½ lb. yellow beans, snapped in half

½ lb. purple or green beans, snapped in half (you can top and tail the beans, or even just top them. I don’t bother unless the top has a piece of actual stem)

3 leeks, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced

3 cloves garlic, minced

1” piece of fresh ginger, minced

½ cup chopped kimchi (if your store doesn't have kimchi, use sauerkraut mixed with sriracha. I use 1 tbsp. sriracha for each cup of sauerkraut. Try to find Bubbies brand. It blows Clausson out of the water)

2 tbsp. peanut oil

1 tbsp. sesame oil

Heat wok or heavy skillet over high heat until nearly smoking. Add the oils and then the leeks. Stir fry a few minutes to soften and release aroma. Add the garlic and ginger and fry for a minute. Add the beans and keep tossing for a few minutes until beans are crisp-tender. Add kimchi at the end and toss just to heat through. Remove from wok. Salt and pepper to taste, or you could finish with a bit of Tamari or soy sauce.

Don’t bother to wipe the wok, good stuff there. Lay in another tablespoon of peanut oil, let it heat a moment and add the pork, lifting it from the marinade so it doesn’t go into the wok dripping wet. Stir fry for 4 or so minutes or until cooked. Do not dry out pork! It’s a myth that you have to eat dried out, well done pork. Leave it with just a hint of rosiness and you’ll be rewarded with juicy tenderness. Suey!

Serve pork and beans with the rice and the side of slaw.

Appetizer Recipe To End All Recipes: Dates, Bacon, Blue Cheese And Toasted Pecans

I'm on a cooking sabbatical because I have about 18 pounds of Chipotle Turkey Pozole and a couple of containers of Lamb Shanks Over Soft Leek Polenta filling up the freezer. As David at the office says, "Yay leftovers!"

But here's a yummy-sounding appetizer for the holidays. Will also post a Mushroom Barley Soup recipe from Yr Wonkette. 

Appetizer Recipe To End All Recipes: Dates, Bacon, Blue Cheese And Toasted Pecans

by Mojopo

Dec 10 12:19 pm 2014

You are going to need a non-defective air bag to even THINK about this recipe. I’m about to t-bone your taste buds with four ridiculous flavors. What do we have here? Only dates stuffed with Danish blue cheese, wrapped in bacon and decorated with toasted whole pecans. Are you on the phone with your insurance company yet and OMG, why not?

Ladies, gentlemen and others – I have dearly enjoyed being a part of your Recipe Hub. It all happened around this time last year when your Editrix sent me a message on Faceborg, asking if I would contribute a recipe to HappyNiceTimePeople.com. I was flattered and pee-my-pants excited. She kept me on.

Like you, I have a life away from Wonkette. My work has pulled me away from this thing we have built together, our very bona fide Recipe Hub. It has grown enormously, and I will miss you.

I worked for Happy’s Lisa Needham — a kind, hilarious, and brilliant writer who I respect to the ends of the earth. I also reported to Sara Benincasa, a comedian I have admired, and she is a joy to know. Additionally, I was blessed to report to Kaili Joy Gray, who has one of the most cheerful, positive voices in early morning e-mails that one could ever hope for. She’s so smart that it pains me. My job was to think about food while all of these brilliant women have encouraged us to think harder about the world.

I may never have said good morning to any of these people, if not for Rebecca Schoenkopf. She lifted me up and gave me something really incredible to do. I am forever grateful for her kindness, enthusiasm, and optimism. She invited me to share my love of cooking with a helluva lot of people because Rebecca is the maternal voice of encouragement  who makes you feel like – yes, I can get on this school bus and I will find a place to sit. It might be next to a weird kid, and weird is great! God bless all of her days. Thank you.

THAT SAID I cooked for our going away party, because of course I did! We are having my favorite appetizer. You need only a few things and it takes so little time. Vegetarians can omit bacon, and vegans are encouraged to be creative. I quit vegetarianism not so long ago because of bacon and pepperoni, and I wish I had a better idea for vegans. Good luck!

Use wooden toothpicks to secure the bacon. Soak them in water for about 30 minutes, to keep from burning.

Ingredients

1 packaged of pitted dates

1 package of raw smoked bacon

1 wedge of blue cheese

Toasted whole pecans (olive oil, butter, and kosher salt)

dates-and-bacon-prep

Heat the oven to 375º. Pinch open the pitted dates and ram some blue cheese in the crease. Close, and wrap with a half-strip of bacon. Secure ends of bacon with toothpicks and place on a non-stick cookie sheet. Cook for 10 minutes, then turn. Bake for an additional 5-7 minutes and then turn again. Bake for an additional 2-4 minutes, until done. Remove from oven, take out toothpicks and add a whole toasted pecan on top, or into the middle. Toasted pecans are like pecan times ten in the flavor department. You must. I rest my case.

Tip: If the bacon is not sufficiently toasty on the sides, hit it with a brûlée torch (or a BBQ starter). With the introduction of naked flame, the bacon will sizzle and take off after a few seconds. Remove the flame as soon as this happens. Repeat as needed.

Read more at http://wonkette.com/568445/appetizer-recipe-to-end-all-recipes-dates-bacon-blue-cheese-and-toasted-pecans#8qxlKHGE5qlUxlzq.99

Now The Vegans Have Infected This Mushroom Barley Soup Recipe!

Love, love, love barley!

Now The Vegans Have Infected This Mushroom Barley Soup Recipe!

by Fitzgerald Chesterfield

Dec 03 11:50 am 2014

Do you keep barley in your pantry? You should. For uses other than soup, it’s a great switcheroo for rice. You can find it at your grocer near the rice or dried beans or maybe near the oatmeal – who knows? It’s what they make beer and whiskey out of, too!

Here’s an easy soup to make with barley and mushrooms. You can make it vegan with a few minor adjustments, but I wouldn’t recommend it. The mushrooms and barley give the soup a great earthy flavor. That’s what people say when they mean it tastes like dirt (in a good way).

You can use any kind of stock you want, but beef is the best way to go. Today, we’ve got homemade stock made from some lamb bones that were lying around in the freezer.

Mushroom Barley Soup

2 tbsp. butter

1 onion, diced

1-2 stalks celery, diced

2-3 carrots, diced

4-25 (to taste) cloves of garlic, minced

A few sprigs of thyme

A bay leaf

8 oz. any old kind of mushrooms, sliced

2 shots of cognac

1/4 cup of pearled barley

1 quart of stock

Vinegar (whatever kind you like, we’re using a cheap white balsamic)

Salt and pepper, as you go, to taste

In your favorite soup-making pot, melt the butter over medium heat and throw in the onion, celery, and carrots. Let that cook for a few minutes. Mirepoix is the word for this stuff; be sure to say it extra nasally.

Stir in the garlic, thyme, and mushrooms. Let that all get acquainted.

Add one of the shots of cognac. Put the other in the promotional snifter which Courvoisier so kindly included with your latest purchase.

Once the cognac (in the soup pan) has cooked all away, add the barley and stir.

Add the bay leaf and stock; bring to a boil, and turn it down to a simmer.

Cook for about 20-30 minutes, until the barley is done to your liking.

Ladle it up, and sprinkle some vinegar in each bowl.

Enjoy!

Read more at http://wonkette.com/568079/now-the-vegans-have-infected-this-mushroom-barley-soup-recipe#0YLJBA8rm3gi4JiK.99

What Do You Do With A Big Ass Carcass - Make Chipotle Turkey Pozole

That is one ginormous can of hominy!

Love, love, love turkey carcasses, chicken backs and necks. Get enough of them, it's time for soup!

My dearest Petal's family puts on a very boring spread for T Day. I long ago gave up any hope of bringing along some side dishes that don't suck, like those darling parsnip chive pancakes from a recipe I saw a few years back, or a really fabulous sweet potato dish with fresh ginger, garlic, green onions and a miso-based dressing that I make occasionally. Do that one at Thanksgiving and you'll always look at candied sweet potatoes with marshmallows in abject horror.

I once made a wild mushroom bread pudding to bring to their festivities and the whole family looked at me like I was a Martian about to probe them.

But I scored big time this year by carting home the carcass and basically any pieces of meat that were less than whitey white breast pieces. Dark meat tastes good!! Petal can't handle things that look like the animals they once were. When she does her Christmas Eve tamale parties, we make the run to Costco and pick up some dozen or so rotisserie chickens and me and one of the boys have to de-meat them for her. Her middle son volunteers a lot because he loves the skin. So do I, so it's a bit of a challenge to stay focused on work when the two of us are trying to devour more skin than the other.He's in culinary school now and I can't wait to see where that takes him. 

Serve with tortillas, or in this case I went with cornbread, just simple cornbread with the addition of a bit of chile powder.

Sorry about the cabbage, Colonel.

Mangia!

Chipotle Turkey Pozole

Courtesy of Simply Recipes, with some adaptations by me

2 Tbsp olive oil

1 large onion, chopped (about 2 cups)

1/4 cup to 1/2 cup minced chipotles in adobo (to taste)

3 large garlic cloves, minced

1 28-ounce can crushed or diced tomatoes (San Marzano!)

Salt
Pepper

4 to 5 cups leftover cooked turkey meat, shredded

1 large (108 ounce, 6 lb 12 oz, 3 kg) can white hominy, rinsed and drained

4 quarts of turkey stock or chicken stock (I use Better Than Bouillon for stock if I am too lazy to make it fresh, but for today, I made one from leftover carcass of turkey, onion, garlic, carrot and celery, peppercorns and salt and augmented with a few chicken backs, bring to boil and simmer for about 2 hours. I had leftover parsnips and fennel from the roast chicken night, threw those in also. Let stock cool, remove solids and allow it to sit for a bit to allow the fat to rise and be skimmed off. Pick off any remaining meat from the bones to add to the pozole)

3 bay leaves

2 Tbsp dried oregano (Mexican if available)

1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

Toppings

1/2 head green cabbage, sliced thin

3 avocados, diced

1 bunch red radishes, sliced thin

8 ounces Cotija cheese, crumbled

1 large bunch cilantro, chopped (stems included)

1 red onion, chopped

4 limes, cut into wedges

Heat olive oil on medium high heat in a large (12 quart) stockpot. Add the chopped onion and cook until translucent, about 4 minutes. Add the garlic. Add the minced chipotles in adobo (start with 1/4 cup and add more later to desired heat). Cook for another 3 minutes.

Add the tomatoes and cooked turkey meat to the pot, stirring to combine. Add the rinsed and drained hominy. Add the stock. Taste and add salt (at least a tablespoon if you are using unsalted stock) to taste. Add the bay leaves, oregano, ground cloves, and cinnamon. Add more water if the soup is too thick with hominy for your preference. Bring to a simmer. Taste and add more salt, herbs, or chipotle to taste. You may need more salt than you expect, if you are using homemade, unsalted stock. Simmer for 45 minutes.

Set the table with toppings arranged in separate serving dishes. Spoon out the soup into bowls. Let people add the toppings they want to the soup.

Cornbread with Chile Powder

1 cup butter, melted

1/2 cup white sugar

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup yellow cornmeal

4 teaspoons baking powder

1 tbsp chile powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9x13 inch baking dish.

In a large bowl, beat together butter and sugar. Beat in eggs one at a time. 

In a separate bowl, stir together flour, cornmeal, baking powder, chile powder and salt. Add flour mixture to corn mixture; stir until smooth. Pour batter into prepared pan.

Bake in preheated oven for 1 hour, until a toothpick inserted into center of the pan comes out clean.

We Love Us Some Lamby Lamb Shanks

You know you want it.

Remember Food God Mark Bittman's shanks article? Sinful meat on bone lambiness. Had some shanks. Time to cook. Smelled a little like pure unadulterated pleasure on a plate.

Colonel Mustard had never had this dish before, but loves lamb almost as much as La Torpille Rose does. Bah, ram ewe, to your flock be true!

By the way, The Colonel once rented a flock of sheep for his land. No, not the hair band of the 80s. An actual grazing flock. Along with a Guard Llama. Seems Llamas just do a better job of guarding sheep than dogs and require less care and attention. And have really bad attitudes. More on that...

Anywho, he explains that sheep are dumber than dirt. Actually, this may be an insult to dirt as he tells it. He watched with fascination one day as one banged its head into a fence, backed up and repeated. More than a few times. I have no trouble eating dumb animals. Sheep and chickens top the list.

Eat with some crusty bread. Meticulously pick out each and every bit of bone that has marrow in it. Inhale deeply. Dig it out. Look at its glossy nirvana-ish fattiness for a respectful minute or two. Spread on bread or just eat over the kitchen sink like a pregnant Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby scarfing down that raw liver. Or spread it on your lover's....well you get the idea. Marrow spoon optional.

Mangia!

http://chimangiabenevivechronicles.blogspot.com/2013/06/its-all-about-shanks.html

Slow Cooker Lamb Shanks with Soft Leek Polenta and Gremolata

 Lamb Shanks

1 yellow onion, diced

3 celery stalks, cut into 3/4” pieces

2 carrots, peeled and cut into ¾” pieces

3 garlic cloves, crushed

1 cup chicken stock

28 oz. can tomatoes (I use San Marzano, if you get whole instead of crushed, enjoy the sensation of crushing them between your pristinely clean fingers as you add them)

2 Tbs. tomato paste

2 tsp. finely chopped fresh rosemary (You want this finely chopped. Rosemary can be a bit like biting into a pine branch. Remember Euell Gibbons???)

1 bay leaf

3 lamb shanks, these should come pre-split by the producer between the larger meaty top portion and the lower ankle portion. Separate the two pieces on each shank. You may have to cut through some connective tissue.

Salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste

2 Tbs. olive oil

Directions:

Put the onion, celery, carrots, garlic, stock, tomatoes, tomato paste, rosemary and bay leaf in a slow cooker and stir to combine.

Season the lamb shanks with salt and pepper. In a large sauté pan over medium-high heat, warm the olive oil until nearly smoking. Add the shanks and brown on all sides, AGGRESSIVELY BROWN, about 6 to 8 minutes total. Transfer to the slow cooker along with the pan juices deglazed with a bit of wine.

Cover and cook on low for about 8 hours. Transfer the lamb shanks and as many carrot and celery pieces as you can to a large serving dish.

Remove the bay leaf from the cooking liquid. Transfer the cooking liquid to a sauce pan and bring to boil, and reduce to about half the volume, about 10 to 12 minutes. Give it a little mash with a potato masher or blend with a hand blender to break down any remaining onion, carrot and celery pieces. Pour some of the sauce over the shanks and pass the rest alongside.

Gremolata

2 lemons, zest removed, reserve lemons for another use, like Decaf Earl Grey tea in the AM

1/4 cup finely chopped fresh parsley (Parsley Snob Alert: have to go Italian. Can't do curly)

3 garlic cloves, finely chopped

Combine ingredients in a small bowl and mix well. Sprinkle over lamb 

Soft Polenta with Leeks, Garlic and Pecorino Romano

3 tablespoons butter

3 large leeks (white and pale green parts only), thinly sliced

2 1/4 cups (or more) water

2 cups canned chicken broth

1 bay leaf

1 cup polenta (If you all ain’t high-falutin’ city folk, go with regular yellow cornmeal, 1 cup, and cook leek-cornmeal mixture for about 15 minutes rather than 35 minutes.

1/3 cup freshly grated Pecorino Romano cheese

Melt 2 tablespoons butter in heavy large saucepan over medium heat. Add leeks; stir to coat. Cover and cook until leeks soften, stirring occasionally, about 10 minutes. Add 2 1/4 cups water, broth and bay leaf. Bring to boil. Gradually whisk in polenta. Reduce heat to medium-low and cook until mixture is thick and creamy, stirring often and thinning with more water if necessary, about 35 minutes.

Remove pan from heat. Discard bay leaf. Stir in remaining 1 tablespoon butter and cheese. Season polenta to taste with salt and pepper. Divide polenta among plates. Top with lamb.

Break Out The Crusty Bread And Get Ready To Finger Paint With Some Serious Schmaltz

Colonel Mustard and I were talking recently about the Wizard of Oz. How it must have been simply incredible that in 1939, after years of depression and sepia-toned existence, this full-colored masterpiece of escapism and sheer blissful fantasy burst onto the screen and into so many hearts. How about when we were kids you had to wait until the network decided to program Wiz. It was an Event, with a Capital E. You stayed home for it in a pre TiVo world.

Paula Poundstone says in a routine of hers that when Wiz first came out, the critics said it was dull and lacking in imagination. She ponders, what if it turns out that Rambo 3 is really good and they show it every Easter?

So, here's your Oz tie-in: Dorothy is really upset, more than upset about Almira Gulch's vendetta against poor little Toto. Auntie Em and Uncle Henry are desperately trying to save the baby chicks because they've lost power for the incubator. We feel badly for the baby chicks. Until they grow up to be delicious free range dinner entrees. Then we heat up the oven, push aromatics into them and around them, and joyfully eat them sitting on the sofa while singing along to When a man's an empty kettle, he should be on his mettle, and yet I'm torn apart. Just because I'm presuming that this chicken was me mooning when I cut it all apart.

Mangia!

I could tell you why, you will eat this while in bed
Thoughts of schmaltz inside your head

Skillet Roast Chicken with Fennel, Parsnips, and Scallions

December 2014 Bon Appetit

A beautifully browned bird and seasonal vegetables cook in a single skillet for an effortless dinner. Swap in carrots, quartered onions, or tiny potatoes—anything goes.

INGREDIENTS

3 tablespoons olive oil, divided

1 3½–4-lb. chicken

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

1 fennel bulb, sliced lengthwise ½” thick ( I went with 2, because…fennel)

2 large parsnips, peeled, sliced ½” thick on the diagonal

1 bunch scallions (I went with two bunches)

(I added one lemon cut into eights, to stuff in the cavity of the chicken…..heh, heh, heh, she said cavity)

3 wide strips lemon zest

Lemon wedges (for serving)

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425°. Heat 1 Tbsp. oil in a large ovenproof skillet over medium-high. Season chicken inside and out with salt and pepper, insert lemon wedges in cavity (heh, heh, heh) and cook, breast side down, until a beautiful golden brown. Use tongs to gently rotate chicken, being careful not to tear skin, and brown on all sides, 12–15 minutes total; transfer to a plate. Reserve skillet.

Toss fennel, parsnips, scallions, and lemon zest in skillet with remaining 2 Tbsp. oil; season with salt and pepper. Place chicken, breast side up, on top of vegetables. Roast until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the thickest part of chicken thigh registers 165°, 35–40 minutes. (You can also check doneness by cutting into thigh meat right at the joint. If the juices run clear, the bird is ready.) Transfer chicken to a cutting board and let rest at least 10 minutes before carving.

Serve chicken and vegetables with pan juices for spooning over and lemon wedge

They Loved Them Some Jello In The 50s

After my grandma passed, my folks and I cleared out her house in preparation for selling it. I came across a jello cookbook from the 60s. Hee-larious. And incredibly vile in some regards. Tuna in your lime jello, anyone?

Nostalgic Repost Of Repasts Past: The Jell-O Recipe That Mamie Eisenhower Used To Win The Cold War

by Wonkette Jr.

Nov 26 4:05 pm 2014

You'd never guess where Ike wants me to put this.

Here is your bit of “DC gossip” for the day: a Jell-O dessert recipe, for the holiday of Thanksgiving! It is Mamie Eisenhower’s famed Red Scare Thanksgiving Jell-o Dessert and it is best served chilled, to family members you hate. (There is Mamie right there with “friend” Lenora Hickok, feeding each other Jell-O and giggling knowingly.) This vile thing is exactly what the Eisenhowers used to force-feed the Soviets, and it is delicious.

Ingredients:

One (1) packet of sugar-free raspberry Jello

One (1) small-ish amount of water

One (1) handful of ice cubes

One (1) cup of Sprite Zero

One (1) packet of Cherry-Pomegranate Crystal Light

Fill a small-ish sauce pan thing with water. Ideally it should amount to around a cup or so, but sometimes even the best chefs have a difficult time finding where overreaching family members moved the measuring cups, so just whatever feels like a cup, that’s probably a cup.

Pour out the sugar-free raspberry Jello into a bowl. Make sure the bowl is big enough to hold at least two or so cups of liquid. This last point is crucial.

Stare at the water until it boils. Do not worry: it will boil, despite the epigram suggesting otherwise.

Pour the boiling water on top of the Jello in the bowl and stir it a few times so all the Jello particles whiz around in an even fashion and none are stuck to the bottom.

Pour like a half-cup of cold Sprite Zero into the mixture too.

So now grab a handful of ice cubes and place them in here too, as this will hasten the Jello along on its journey from liquid Jello to Jello Jello.

Add a dash, or more than a dash—no judgment!—of Cherry-Pomegranate Crystal Light. There are now several different flavors floating about, which is several minus one more than you would have in cases of unmodified sugar-free raspberry Jello.

Place in freezer. You heard me.

Check on the Jello by sticking your finger in it every 10 to 15 minutes.

When it resembles an ice-skating rink covered in blood (a hockey rink?), it is Time.

This is all it took, plus Ronald Reagan.

Read more at http://wonkette.com/535348/nostalgic-repost-of-repasts-past-the-jell-o-recipe-that-mamie-eisenhower-used-to-win-the-cold-war#FjmRE36cCQucFODF.99

San Benito House In Its Hey Day - Barley Pilaf with Pancetta, White Beans, Roasted Corn and Parsley

Colonel Mustard and I were talking recently, and I reminisced about a memorable side dish I had for dinner at the restaurant in the San Benito House in Half Moon Bay some 9 or 10 years ago. SBH unfortunately underwent a remodel since then where they changed all the differently-themed rooms and made them all into a contemporary Yuppie's Dream Of Retiring To Run A Bread and Breakfast motif. Pity. Before, you could book the Safari Room or the All American Room, but all of them had slightly different themes on Americana Country. Except the Safari Room, which was delightfully incongruous with the Americana overload theme of the other rooms.

The garden out back

Imagine a very tastefully done and rather boring Madonna Inn and you have the idea. The restaurant was amazing and had been profiled in Bon Appetit years back. It has the most beautiful wood deck and fire pit with wood planters of flowers and herbs, and a lovely little "backyard" garden with a gazebo. Weddings are still held there frequently. They were known especially for their breakfast breads, artichoke-laden bread, warm fruit muffins....yum! Cute little egg cups for the soft boiled eggs at breakfast!

The deck, where they served
artichoke bread! And other stuff!

I was at the end of a relationship, feeling quite sorry for myself and suddenly decided I should get away for the weekend and booked a flight, car and the SBH for two nights. The first night was the night of the Side Dish; the second was memorable because while out walking, I stumbled upon a Quincienera at the local high school auditorium. I watched from the door for a long time and some friendly caballeros invited me in. Fun!

The side dish was a barley pilaf, with tender, chewy barley, roasted corn, white beans, pancetta and parsley; the main dish was grilled salmon. I made it often over the years, winging it every time because although I wrote to BA to see if they would winkle the recipe out of SBH, it came to no avail.


I attempt here to recreate it as I am best able. Mangia!

Barley Pilaf with Pancetta,White Beans, Roasted Corn and Parsley

The deck's fire pit

1 cup whole pearled barley
4 cups chicken stock
2 tbsp olive oil
2 shallots, minced
1/4 pound pancetta chopped
2 ears corn
1 15 oz can small white beans
1 tbsp fresh thyme leaves, chopped
1 good handful chopped Italian parsley leaves (I don't bother avoiding the stalks. They have flavor too!)

Wash barley in cold water, rinsing it several times through a sieve until clear. Drain well. Bring stock to a boil, add barley, bring to boil again and turn heat down to low and simmer for about 30  minutes. Remove from heat and let sit for another 15 minutes or so.

While barley is cooking, heat stovetop grill pan over high heat until very hot. Spray with cooking oil lightly and grill corn, turning occasionally, until charred in some places. Remove from heat, allow to cool and cut off kernels.

Heat oil in a saute over medium heat, and add shallots, and saute until softened, about 5 minutes. Add pancetta and cook for another 10 or 15 minutes or so, to render out fat.and slightly crisp pancetta. Add beans, thyme and barley and saute for about 5 or 6 minutes until heated through. Stir in parsley and serve.

Thanksgiving Dishes From Around The Country

This is too big to post in its entirety, but please do check out the link.

Colonel Mustard and I were just talking about Mark Kurlansky, the amazing food historian and author of Salt and Cod. I mentioned Food of a Younger Land, Kurlansky's book about combing the WPA (that's New Deal basically) Writer's Project archives for projects that took writers to all parts of the country, to discover the way folks ate back before the national highway system, before chain restaurants and before frozen food.

I find this wildly evocative of the discoveries in Kurlansky's book. If you took many family T Day traditions, subtracted yucky things like green bean casserole with Campbell's soup and whatever those onion thingies are made out of and added a dash of locavore, you could envision yourself back in a simpler time for food.

The Colonel commented on how he can remember  how certain fruits and vegetables were truly seasonal. I can too! Don't ask the ages!

You didn't get them all year round. They were special. You had anticipation for something as simple as a tangerine. And how they tasted! Like sunshine radiating from the smiles of a couple in love. Like the spring in the step of a boy trying his Red Rider wagon on Christmas morning. Or something like that.

Check it out Colonel! First entry: sourdough dressing. Better accelerate that baking program! That salmon pie and slow-cooked red chile turkey are worth other posts. And pecan pie bites with gravy? Never thought of it but now...ah sweet mystery of life at last I found you! My Dad would have been all over Pocket Stuffing.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/11/18/dining/thanksgiving-recipes-across-the-united-states.html

Here Is Your Lentil Soup Recipe, Because You Are A Hippie Who Loves Lentil Soup

Courtesy of the funky Mediterranean Market near me

From Wonkette's Recipe Hub. I love love love lentils. Red lentils are so very pretty but be advised that they will lose their rosy color and turn yellow during cooking. One of the easiest and most satisfying way to make lentils,or dal which in Indian cuisine refers to a dried pulse, lentils or beans, is a basic recipe from the amazing Madhur Jaffrey. You cook a cup of washed, picked over red lentils with 4 cups of water and 1/4 teaspoon of turmeric. Watch it at the bring to boil stage because it has a tendency to boil over and then you have foamy yellow turmeric gunk on your stove.

A chaunk or tarka is added at the end and there are many variations for this fried garnish. In Jaffrey's tarka for Tarka Massor Dal, it is thinly sliced scallions fried in ghee into which whole cumin seeds have been added. It's amazingly simple and so gloriously flavorful! Mangia!

Throw in a slice of bread and you've got a deal

by Fitzgerald Chesterfield

Nov 17 12:05 pm 2014

Wonkette

Sucka!

Today, we’re going way back to the book of Genesis to make a soup as old as time. This potage of lentils will nourish your body and leave a bitter taste in your mouth. The inspiration for the dish is the story of twin brothers Jacob and Esau, whose sibling rivalry lasted nearly their whole lives.

The twin sons of Rebekah and Isaac could not have been more different from each other. Esau was a hairy sumnabitch, and Jacob had smooth skin. Esau was an avid outdoorsman, while Jacob hung around the tent, studying. Jacob had vision and big plans, but Esau pretty much lived in the moment. Esau was born first by a few minutes, even though Jacob tried to pull him back into Rebekah’s womb by his ankle. In those days, the firstborn status made Esau the primary heir to their father’s fortunes. (Isaac had been such a successful businessman when living among the Philistines that the Philistine king told him to get out of town before they all got so jealous that they killed him and took all his stuff.)

The twins didn’t really get along, and their parents did not do much to help the brothers’ relationship. Rebekah preferred Jacob because he was such a sweetheart who always listened to his mother and told funny jokes and whatnot. Isaac preferred Esau because he brought home delicious wild game to eat. Jacob stewed over the fact that his redneck brother was going to get all the stuff when Isaac died, because he thought he could turn those flocks into real money if he had the chance.

So, one day Jacob was making a pot of soup when Esau returned from a few days of hunting in the bush. Esau was like, “Hey, that smells good, Bro. Think I could get a bowl?”

“Of course you can, in exchange for your birthright,” Jacob said.

“I’m fucking starving. What do I give a shit about a birthright? All I need are some tasty waves and a cool buzz is my kick-ass cloak of Nimrod, and I’ll be fine. Now give me a bowl of soup, you little pussy,” said Esau.

He enjoyed the soup, eating like a slob and getting it all in his beard and in his arm hair, which he had a lot of. Then, with his belly full, Esau began to regret the deal he had just made, and the seed of a decades-long grudge was planted. This is just one example of the rash decisions Esau made that disappointed his parents. Another was the time he married a Canaanite woman, instead of a nice Jewish girl. The moral of the story is that, in a leader, dishonest trickery and other minor moral transgressions are preferable to short-sighted decision making.

Coincidentally, Jacob’s first son was Reuben, so they were a real soup and sandwich type of family.

Esau’s Stew

1 onion, diced

1-2 carrots, diced

1-2 celery stalks, diced

1 potato, peeled and diced

8-12 cloves of garlic, minced

Some fresh parsley, finely chopped (only about 3-4 stems worth)

1 heaping cup of red lentils, rinsed and picked over

1 quart of chicken stock (substitute vegetable, and you’re looking at a vegan recipe)

1-2 bay leaves

1-2 lemons, halved

A large pinch/small handful of cumin seeds

Tabasco Sauce

Salt and pepper, as you go, to taste

Cut up all the vegetables.

Toast the cumin in a dry frying pan, then grind it up with your mortar and pestle.

In your favorite soup-making pot, saute the onion, carrots, and celery in olive oil for a few minutes.

Add half the garlic, half the parsley, and all the potatoes. Stir and let that cook for a few more minutes.

Stir in the lentils, bay leaves, and the stock. Bring it up to a boil, put the lid on, and turn it way down to low.

Cook until the lentils and potatoes are very soft, about a half-hour. Then throw in your remaining garlic and half of your lemons. Yes, just drop ‘em in.

Cook for an additional 10 minutes or so. Fish out the bay leaves.

Using a stick blender, or the frozen-drink-making kind, puree what’s still in the pot (yes, including those lemons). Be careful because this stuff is hot, and blending hot things is dangerous.

Juice your remaining lemons into the soup, add the cumin, and a few dashes of your homemade tabasco sauce.

Put a lemon wedge and some fresh parsley on each bowl of soup. Serve with some nice crusty bread. Keep the hot sauce handy.

It’s also delicious as a cold soup, and depending on the thickness of the batch, a very nice dip/spread

Ta Da!

for vegetables or bread.

This dish is very bitter. As you eat it, savor that bitterness, and think about the grudges you hold. Lentils are an excellent source of both insoluble and soluble fiber, so this soup may help you get some of those grudges out of your system.

If you don’t care for the bitterness, you could remove the lemons before you puree the soup. You could also just eat lemon sorbet for dinner because life is nothing but sweet treats and self-satisfaction.

Read more at http://wonkette.com/566782/here-is-your-lentil-soup-recipe-because-you-are-a-hippie-who-loves-lentil-soup#dApCoh5ptQJ176A4.99

Sexy Thomas Cromwell - Sunday Roast (On A Friday) With Yorkshire Pudding

Been waiting decades for a sexy Thomas Cromwell to come along. I fell in love with the Tudors as a kid watching BBC's tremendous Six Wives and Elizabeth R miniseries. I loved the macabre and the whole Anne Reine sans tete hook plunged deeply. Plus, my Mom was a big Kingston Trio fan and she used to sing With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm, which I adored.

The Six:

Divorced, beheaded, died
Divorced, beheaded, survived

(Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard, Katherine Parr)

At latest count, I have read and/or own some 60 books about the Tudors and Stuarts.

That series The Tudors? God awful but I was pulling for it because someone was interested enough to produce it even if they tarted it up to Whore of Babylon levels. Historical accuracy and ratings are not mutually inclusive.

Hillary Mantel's Wolf Hall series became my Harry Potter. I would stand in front of a Barnes and Noble at 11 pm the night before her third book comes out if that was still how we bought books in America.

Anne B. Lost her head.

The Royal Shakespeare Company has produced an adaptation of Wolf Hall and Bring Up The Bodies. The time period takes us from Thomas Cromwell's youth to the downfall of Anne Boleyn. Cromwell is a fascinating character. He became Henry VIII's advisor after Thomas Wolsey failed to deliver Henry's divorce from Catherine of Aragon so he could marry Anne.

Anne of Cleves by Hans Holbein,
kept her head and outlived Henry.

He managed to keep his head after Anne's downfall until 1540 when he engineered Henry's fourth marriage to shore up the Protestant alliance in Europe against the Catholic powers. Henry was smitten with Anne of Cleves based on a portrait painted by the great Hans Holbein the Younger. 

SCHWING!!!!!

Things went wrong when the couple finally met, which unfortunately was AFTER the marriage treaty was finalized. It is hard from a modern perspective to understand. Her portrait hangs in the Louvre and appears to depict, if not a great beauty, at least a pleasing looking woman. Most historians agree that Anne was horrified when she finally saw her obese, aged groom and didn't have the courtly social skills to hide her reaction.

He has been portrayed on the screen by a variety of fine villain character actors. In the RSC production, he is played by Ben Miles.

So, in honor of this news, we present Sunday Roast with Yorkshire Pudding. And speaking of sexy, I'm going with a recipe from Nigella Lawson, from the original Nigella Bites show, although I have made some modifications. I added grilled asparagus with lemon thyme dressing because it just felt right to have a veggie in addition to salad.

Mangia!

Girlfriend doesn't deny herself. Nothing sexier than a gal
who loves to eat with gusto.

Sunday Roast with Yorkshire Pudding, Grilled Asparagus and Pea, Mint and Avocado Salad

Recipe courtesy Nigella Lawson

For the Roast Beef:*

5 pounds beef roast (I went with a 3 pound version. I bought a boneless ribeye roast, but you could go with a more economical cut like sirloin, eye of round or chuck. Talk to the butcher at your grocery store. They'll appreciate it!)

4 tablespoons olive oil

Ready for the oven

5 sprigs rosemary leaves, chopped (scaled down to three with smaller roast)
Salt and pepper (surprisingly, Nigella leaves this step out. As Emeril Lagasse used to say, I don't know where you buy your meat, but mine doesn't come seasoned)

For the Grilled Asparagus

1 lb. thin asparagus, ends broken off where they break easily
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tablespoon chopped thyme leaves
Juice of 2 lemons
1 to 2 tablespoons olive oil (you could use more. I like acid in my dressings to be dominant)
Salt and pepper to taste

For the Yorkshire Pudding (12 puddings):

1 1/4 cups milk

4 eggs

Scant 1/2 teaspoon salt

Freshly ground black pepper

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, sifted

1 tablespoon beef drippings or vegetable oil

For the Pea, Mint, and Avocado Salad:

4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more, if needed (Nigella called for 9. NINE. Yikes)

4 tablespoons good white wine vinegar (I upped her recipe from 1 1/2 tablespoons, because vinegar!)

Fat pinch superfine sugar
Pinch of salt and good amount of pepper

2 bunches mint leaves, chopped one, leave the other in whole leaves

1 pound shelled peas (about 3 1/2 pounds unshelled)

1 package (10 ounces) mixed salad greens

2 heads Belgian endive, separated into leaves (the store was out this morning. I went with a head of radicchio)

3 ripe avocados, cut into bite-size chunks

Directions

 To make the beef roast, preheat the oven to 475 degrees F. Place the beef roast on a clean work surface and rub with the olive oil and chopped rosemary. Transfer to roasting pan.

 Place into the preheated oven and cook for 15 minutes and then turn the heat down to 350 degrees F. Cook for about 15 minutes per pound for rare meat, about 1 hour and 15 minutes (another 40 or 45 minutes for a 3 pounder). Remove from the oven and let rest, covered, for about 15 minutes before slicing.

To make the asparagus: heat a stove top grill pan or a regular grill to very hot. If using an outdoor grill, you may want to use a grill top basket of some type to prevent thin stalks from falling through, or just be careful to keep the spears perpendicular to the grates when you turn them. Put the asparagus in a single layer in the pan and turn them a few times until brown char marks appear. They won't need more than a few minutes; you want them toothsome. Make the dressing by combining garlic, thyme leaves, oil and lemon juice. Put them on a platter and pour dressing over them.

To make the pea, mint and avocado salad, first make the dressing: put the oil, vinegar, and sugar into a large bowl and then put in the chopped mint. Stir well so all is amalgamated. Cook the peas for 2 minutes or so in salted boiling water, just so that they're ready, but not soft. Taste after 2 minutes and keep tasting. Drain the peas in a colander, put them straightaway into the bowl of dressing, and let steep for 1 hour or up to a day. Just before serving, stir in the mixed greens, whole leaf mint, the endive, and the avocado. You may need to drizzle a bit more oil after tossing. Serve this on a big plate. Sprinkle with some more of the chopped mint.

To make the Yorkshire Pudding, preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Mix the milk, eggs, and salt, and add pepper, beating all well together. I use my freestanding mixer but a hand-held electric mixer, rotary, or balloon whisk would do. Let these ingredient stand for 15 minutes and then whisk in the flour. Meanwhile, add the drippings to a heat-proof muffin pan and put it in the oven to heat for about 10 minutes. Into this intensely hot pan you should pour in the batter and cook for 20 minutes, or until well puffed and golden. Bring it, triumphant, to the table.

Triumphant!

Eat large portions and collapse in a beef coma for the rest of the afternoon and evening and thank

heaven for Nigella Lawson.

*According to David at the office, the best sandwich recipe is simple.  Roast sirloin or eye of round sliced thin and piled about 1 inch high between two slices of bread.  He highly recommends it. That's not a sandwich; that's a magnum opus on bread.

Fun little video about The Six: